


Merry Christmas, Baby

by Arok88



Category: Backstreet Boys, Popslash
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:54:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26426704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arok88/pseuds/Arok88
Relationships: Nick Carter/Brian Littrell
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Merry Christmas, Baby

Brian sighed and closed his eyes tightly, trying desperately to block out the sunlight that was determined to make its way into the bedroom. He snuggled down deeper into pillow and pulled the warm heavy comforter over the top of his head. He hesitantly reached his hand across the California King sized bed and felt the cool space where his lover should have been. He sighed heavily again and curled himself into a ball. He tried to keep the tears from coming.

This was the third time this week he had woken up all alone with the other side of the bed cool and probably with his lover nowhere to be found. He tried his best to keep his emotions under control. He wasn’t going to cry again, he wasn’t.

He tried to ease his body back into the blissful sleep he had been in before but the thoughts rushing through his head would not subside long enough to allow him the comfort of sleep. All doubts and insecurities were back and there was no way to get rid of them now. He flung the covers off of him and padded into the bathroom. He stopped at the mirror and took in his rugged appearance. He was so tired of this. Brian turned on the sink and quickly washed his face and teeth before leaving the bathroom.

A quick survey of the house only confirmed his previous fears, his lover was gone again. No note, no explanation, just like all the other times. Brian was too upset to even be angry. His emotions were draining every part of him. He just couldn’t understand what was happening. Something was changing between them, and he didn’t like it. He could feel it in every bone in his body, the dread, the unwillingness to accept that things were changing, especially since he had no idea what was going on.

He sunk down into the couch and closed his eyes, willing his tears to subside. He couldn’t handle it if something happened between the two of them, if his lover left him he would be devastated. He tried not to think about what could happen. It wasn’t something he ever wanted to think about. He jumped when he heard the front door open. It took everything he had to keep from running into the entry way and shower his lover with questions. He waited patiently on the couch for his lover to enter the room. He picked up a magazine off the coffee table so it wouldn’t see like he had been waiting.

Eventually Nick made his way into the living room. He took in the sight of his lover fidgeting on the couch and smiled to himself. He walked around to the other side and flopped down beside him. Brian looked up at the movement and smiled shyly at the other man.

“Hi Nicky,” he said, biting his tongue to keep from asking him where he had been. He did not want to be that man that couldn’t trust his lover, but the way things were currently between them it was becoming harder and harder to keep his feelings to himself. The urge to confront Nick about his behaviors were starting to get more intense and Brian didn’t know how long he could keep quiet.

Nick smiled and leaned back on the couch. “Hey Rok.” He said softly.

Brian fidgeted unsure if he should snuggle into his lover or keep his distance. He longed to be curled up beside him, nestled in his arms, but he was afraid he would end up pushing Nick further away if he moved any closer. Just when he had decided to move closer Nick jumped up off the couch.

“I’m gonna go take a shower. I’ll be back later.” Nick said turning to make sure Brian heard him.

“Oh, okay.” Brian said nodding sadly.

“What is it Rok?” Nick asked quickly, causing Brian to flinch.

Brian shrugged and gestured to the rest of the living room. “Do you want to help me put up the Christmas tree when you are done with your shower?” He asked hopefully never quite meeting Nick’s eyes.

Nick sighed heavily and shook his head. “I got a lot of things I need to do today Brian, you’ll have to put it up by yourself this time.” Nick didn’t wait for Brian’s response, just turned and headed up the stairs to the bathroom.

Brian fell back against the couch no longer able to control his tears. It wasn’t that he minded putting the tree up alone, it was just that they ALWAYS did it together, ever since their very first year together, so being told to do it himself was like a punch in the face.

Brian sat there for what felt like hours crying silently to himself. He was snuggled into the arm of the couch trying to get his emotions under control but was losing terribly. He stiffened when he heard Nick come bounding down the stairs. He quickly wiped his face so Nick wouldn’t see.

“I’m heading into town. I got a million things to do. I will see you this evening.” Nick said sticking his head into the living room before putting on his coat and hat. He didn’t bother waiting to hear what Brian had to say, just grabbed his keys and left.

Brian couldn’t believe that his lover was gone again. It was Christmas Eve for gods sake. They were supposed to spend it together. What the hell was happening between them? Brian sat unmoving on the couch. His heart was breaking not only for himself, but for what they used to be. They used to do everything together, but any more it felt like Nick didn’t want anything to do with him at all. He wasn’t sure where to go from here.

They had been together for five years now. They had finally confessed their love to each other one night in a hotel room after Nick had found a magazine that had torn apart his appearance and blasted him for his weight. Brian had been furious when he saw the impact that the magazine had on the younger man and had immediately decided to spend the rest of his life showing Nick how beautiful he really was. They were great together, inseparable.

Things had only been weird between them for the last few months. It started so slowly that Brian didn’t even notice it at first. It was little things like not wanting to go places or constantly taking phone calls and running off. Brian was terrified that Nick had met someone else, someone better. It was Brian’s biggest fear and every time Nick slipped out to run somewhere Brian’s insecurities grew worse.

He managed to pull himself up off of the floor and began unpacking the decoration boxes that were strewn all over the living room. Nick had pulled them out of the closet days ago but they had both been too busy to put the tree up and now here it was Christmas Eve and there was still no tree. Now he had to do it himself. He tried not to think about it as he set to work unpacking everything, but every ornament held a memory and it was hard to keep his thoughts in check as he kept drifting back to each Christmas they had shared together.

A couple of hours later Brian was exhausted. He had managed to put the tree up alone and while it didn’t look as good as it had years previous it was still a nice tree. He sighed when he looked at the clock. Nick had been gone for hours and hadn’t called or texted the whole time. Usually there was at least one phone call. He tried not to dwell on it as he packed up the left over Christmas ornaments and put the boxes back in the closet. Finally the living room looked like it was ready for Christmas, too bad the rest of him felt like skipping the holiday all together.

Once the living room was clean Brian decided that a shower was in order. He trudged up the stairs to their bedroom. Just being in their room felt so cold. He missed Nick, just wanted him home and everything to be okay so they could celebrate Christmas together. Was that too much to ask? Apparently it was.

Brian stripped off his clothes and stepped under the warm blast of the shower. The hot water cascaded down his skin and made it tingle as it burned. He welcomed the pain from the hot water, it was much more bearable than the other pain he felt. He went to work washing his hair and body before stepping out of the shower. He toweled off and wiped the steam from the mirror. His eyes were still bloodshot and tired from all of his crying. He sighed and tried to calm his nerves. He wasn’t going to cry anymore. He just couldn’t handle any more today.

As he was finishing getting dressed he thought he heard the door open. He listened again but still heard nothing. He shrugged it off and continued getting ready. They were supposed to be spending a nice evening alone together, but Nick still wasn’t back so Brian dressed in nice jeans and a sweater on the off chance that Nick was still interested in doing that.

He padded down the stairs and stopped short when he saw the fireplace roaring and candles everywhere. The tree was light causing the Christmas lights to dance along the walls. The lights were dimmed except for the candles and the tree lights. He took a step closer to the living room and saw Nick placing presents under the tree. Brian smiled softly at the sight of his lover.

Nick finished setting down the presents and stood up. He turned and caught Brian’s eye in the doorway. He smiled when he saw his lover and crossed the room to him quickly. Nick took Brian into his arms tightly and held him close.

Brian collapsed against him breathing in the scent of him deeply. They stood like that for a moment before pulling apart. Nick leaned down and kissed the older man softly before smiling.

“The tree looks beautiful baby.” He said softly.  
Brian felt his tears coming again and shook his head to keep them from falling. He couldn’t believe Nick was actually here and saying these things.

They broke apart and Nick pulled him into the living room. They settled into the house and looked at the tree. “It would have been better if you could have helped me.” Brian said softly looking at his hands.

Nick nodded and looked at his lover. “I know baby, I’m sorry I’ve been so busy lately.” Nick said taking one of Brain’s hands in his. He watched as his lover fell apart on the couch. Brian couldn’t stop the tears any longer. They came faster than before, shaking him to the core. Nick sat up and gathered the sobbing man into his arms.

“What is going on baby?” Nick asked gently. Brian hiccuped, “I could ask you the same question.”

Nick looked at him quizzically, not sure that he followed. “Have you found someone else?” Brian managed to choke out before he dissolved into tears. Nick’s grip on the older man tightened.

“What?” He asked shocked. “Why would you think that? I love you.” Nick said shaking his head.

“You’ve been acting like you want nothing to do with me and you’re never here…” Brian was interrupted by the shrill cry of an infant.

Brian stopped crying immediately and looked around the room before looking back at his lover. “What was that?” He asked confused.

Nick smiled and got up off the couch. He left the room quickly and came back a few moments later with a tiny bundle wrapped in his arms. Brian’s eyes grew wide as Nick sat beside him with the bundle. Brian looked at the beautiful baby in his lover’s arms and them back to Nick.

“Whose baby is this?” Brian asked trying to figure out what was going on.

Nick smiled looking down and the small child before answering his lover. “Ours.” He said softly.

Brian was sure he heard wrong. They didn’t have a baby. When did they get a baby, HOW did they get a baby. He looked up at Nick confused. “What?” he asked.

Nick smiled as he rocked the infant in his arms.

“She’s ours. This is what I have been doing, why I’ve been having so many phone calls and meetings. We adopted a child baby. This was my Christmas present to you.” Nick said before handing the child over to Brian.

He took the baby gently; still unsure of what was happening. Brian held her tightly to him before leaning down and kissing her small cheek. “What’s her name?” He asked amazed. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He had always wanted a child. It was the one thing he didn’t think he would ever get to share with Nick and he had wanted to so badly.

“Her name is Lyla. She’s three months old. I didn’t want to tell you anything about this because I was afraid something would happen and we wouldn’t get her and I knew it would hurt you and I didn’t want to cause you that pain. So I decided to keep it a secret until I knew for sure that she was ours, and she is baby. She is our little girl. We have a family now.” Nick said looking up at Brian with tears in his eyes.

Brian leaned up and kissed Nick softly. “We were always a family baby. Me and you, we were a wonderful family. Now we are just a little more complete.” Brian said smiling at his lover with tears in his eyes.

“Merry Christmas, Baby”


End file.
